One of The Hardest Steps of Starting Counselling - Making The First Appointment

Starting counselling sounds simple — you make an appointment, show up, and talk.

But simple doesn’t mean easy.

For many people, that first step feels impossible. Not because they lack strength, but because it asks them to face a difficult truth: I can’t keep doing this alone.

That realization can stir up a lot — fear, shame, relief, and even a sense of grief for how long you’ve had to hold it all together. It’s one thing to think about getting help; it’s another to take that first step and admit, even to yourself, that something needs to change.

And even after you’ve booked the appointment, hesitation can creep in. You might find yourself wondering, Do I really need this? Is it that bad? What if it doesn’t help?

That’s normal. It’s the push and pull that happens when you start listening to the parts of yourself that want things to be different... and the parts that are still scared of what that might mean.

In those moments, it may help to ask another question: What will change if I don’t?

Why We Wait

There are practical reasons people delay counselling — time, money, uncertainty about where to start. But often, the reasons run deeper.

Many of us learned that strength means independence. That needing help makes us weak, and the safest thing we can do is hold it all together and not burden anyone else.

So we keep coping. We keep pushing. We tell ourselves we’ll reach out when things calm down. But things rarely do.

When we’re in survival mode, the body joins in. Shoulders stay tight. Breath gets shallow. The mind spins faster, trying to stay one step ahead.

We become focused on getting through the day, not on healing. Reflection and rest can feel like luxuries when every bit of energy is already spent managing what’s in front of us.

Eventually, though, our coping strategies can become unhelpful, or even harmful — and that’s when the cracks begin to show.

When Things Begin to Crack

That moment of breaking — the one that feels like failure — is often the body’s first real request for care.

Sometimes it shows up as exhaustion that no amount of sleep can fix. A tight chest. Headaches. Stomach pain. The sudden urge to cry for no clear reason.

Maybe you’ve noticed your patience thinning, your focus fading, or a kind of fog that makes even small decisions feel heavy.

These aren’t signs of weakness — they’re signs your nervous system is tired of running on empty.

And that’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.

It’s the part of you that still believes things could be different — that you could find more support, more energy, maybe even a bit of peace.

That small, hopeful voice is what brings people to therapy — not because they’ve fallen apart, but because they’re finally ready to find a way forward that feels more like living than surviving.

The Vulnerability of Beginning

The first step toward counselling can feel enormous.

Even sending an email or booking a consult can stir up doubt:

What if it doesn’t help? What if I can’t explain myself? What if I’m too much?

There may even be a tug-of-war inside you. One part of you may want to speak, to finally put to words what’s been held in for so long. Another part may be pulling back, unsure of how it will feel to be understood, or scared of not being understood.

Both can exist at once, and both are normal experiences.

This is why choosing to go to counselling takes so much courage. You’re stepping into a space that asks for honesty before certainty, and that’s not easy. In our work together, we will move at your pace, so you can take your time and let trust build before you go deeper.

Ultimately, you don’t need to have "enough trauma" or the right words before you take the step of beginning counselling.

You just need a willingness to try.

That’s where change begins.